Review: Rock Falls’ Haunted Haven

By Jasey Green

Haunted Haven offers intricate costumes, gorgeous makeup, and an off-putting atmosphere for a fun – if not effectively that scary – experience with friends.

Walking into the property after dark, blasting heavy metal and wandering “creatures” sets the expectation for an intense, submersive experience. However, the walk up to the property is possibly the most unnerving part of the experience.

The atmosphere of Haunted Haven is appropriately eerie and abrasive, but the script and pacing of the attraction seems half-hearted and unoriginal. Guests that are unfamiliar with haunted houses will find themselves being asked questions that may or may not be rhetorical, and the social awkwardness of not knowing how to respond might almost be worse than the conventionally scary aspects of the experience. 

Roughly a dozen costumed actors are located throughout 8000 square feet of darkness-shrouded set, rushing the guest to the next area once they’ve finished their corny - but inoffensive and committed - bits. These characters typically introduce themselves by popping out of the shadows in what seem to be jump-scare attempts - which can begin to fall flat if the guest is paying close enough attention.

The attraction seems to pursue sensory overload over traditional fear. Flashing red and green lights, as well as frequent loud noises, lend themselves to the disorientation and confusion of the guests. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but in some cases it won’t take long for the routine to lose efficacy.

While Haunted Haven is not an exceptionally scary experience for a haunted house newbie, a lot of care and prep goes into ensuring that the guest experience is enjoyable. This particular haunted house probably isn’t meant to be scary - it’s meant to be fun. The working parts of Haunted Haven function as it seems they were intended to, and it’s overall a good time for anyone looking for something to do with friends over the weekend. 

So go check out Haunted Haven this weekend. It’s local, it’s not too scary an experience for haunted house beginners, and it’s Halloween - there’s no better time for corny scripts and jump scares.

Haunted Haven is open seasonally on Fridays and Saturdays. This Friday through Monday (the 28th through the 31st of October) are the last open days for this season. Tickets are $15.00 per person. It’s noted on the website, but Haunted Haven is not for anyone with heightened light or noise sensitivity. More information can be found at https://hauntedhaven.org/